How surprised you are to be reading this I know well. However, I realize that I really haven’t told the truth. It’s fine to keep your mouth a little open and let the tears free as we go through our moments on every line.
I loved that I had a wealthy mother and father, having everything that I wanted up until I got tired of showoff and needed a life. I understood that fathers are busy people, out early, back late, fending for the family but not you mum. I loved your hardworking self, not sitting home because Dad was making enough. If only you saw that this girl needed you badly. Every joy, pain, regret, achievement, expectation, mushy feeling, I wanted a mother that I could tell all to but you were hardly ever around.
At that time of my life I hated you and I was out to make you regret not being there for your pretty daughter. I know you still remember my late outings, my indecent dressing, rude remarks always at the tip of my tongue, my selfish behaviours and the hurt, yes, they were to hurt you but I wasn’t pleased because you still left for work the next morning. I found family in the world, I found people and things I could trade you for.
Regrets? I only regretted that you and Dad were ministers but couldn’t help my misery. At a point, I couldn’t even find myself, there was no part of me to hold on to. Those days, I saw you grow lean. Our maid said you were observing fasts on my behalf and I still hear my wicked laughter. Every of your efforts to preach to me, bring me to the knowledge of the truth, I remember.
Dad changed suddenly. I was a mirror of your past life. Wayward, he once called you angrily. The heated arguments and the tension that surfaced are the hardest to forget. I remember the feel of hell and my cry for death. The punishment I put you through was unbearable, I wished things went back to before but Dad grew worse .
I saw a woman that sacrificed, forgiving, loving, praying, teaching, fighting… And I watched the miracle happen even as I was a part of every process. You are great mum. You are the best. God makes no mistake, He wasn’t about to start when He gave me you as a mother and Dad as a wife. You are perfect mum and yes I regret. I regret not knowing earlier that parents are people too with a life of their own, dreams and passion. You were living your dream mum and you did not hesitate to leave it and stay for us- family.
I regret not knowing how priceless you are.
To the special woman that holds a special spot in my heart.
I love you mum.