For the longest of times, I’ve been an hypocrite, saying one thing and practicing the other, never really standing for what I know and believe to be right.
Sexual purity, everyday in this perverse and depraved world thousands of people fight, they fight for what they know is right, maybe some are misguided but they still do it, I stopped fighting a while ago.
Growing up, I was one of those girls that wanted to stay a virgin till marriage, I’m still one but sadly I’m far from sexually pure.
I thought for a while self-control would do the trick, if I kiss a guy I’ll control myself not to go beyond that, I am pleased to inform you that self-control is overrated, self-control never helped me and believe me it wouldn’t you as well.
I’ve compromised many times over and I can’t begin to count, I’ve made mistakes I wish I could take back and the devil sees that, he sees my guilt and tormets me for it, well it worked for a while, I was so disgusted with myself, I had given the devil the win, I let him.
Deep within I knew that God had forgiven me and forgotten, I guess I didn’t know how to forgive myself for the many times I had wronged, what is so amazing and interesting about sex and all it’s accompliments that makes me keep going back.
Now, now I refuse to let the devil an iota of joy by guilting me, I realized my wrongs, I’ve forgiven myself, God has forgiven me and I can attain purity again.
Even if I had had sex and gotten pregnant, had a baby or maybe as a result of fear aborted the baby, God would have forgiven me and I could attain purity again.
There are without doubt people out there who are just like me, maybe in the same situation I am now, in this moment as I clean the tear that streeks down my cheek, I make a decision, from now on, this moment, no more compromises, I say no and I mean it, I go back to fighting for what I believe in and I hope you would join me too.
Truth is, as long as there is life there is hope and grace, grace to surmont our fears and demons.
Psalms 119:9 How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. The word of God is the strength I need, the strength we need.
I study more, I pray more, I live a godly and pure life, not by my strength, not by my will, but by your grace God, I live NoSum, Amen.