What should I do with the pain right now?
‘Time heals the pain!’
‘Times heals the hurt!’
‘When life throws limes at you, get up and smile!’
‘If life gives you lemons, make lemonades!’ I don’t even know the first thing about making lemonade. Lol
Honestly, these sentences have come to upset me more than comfort me in recent times. Don’t get me wrong. I understand the communication behind them. I also acknowledge that people say these things to help.
It is just tiring to be constantly pointed to a time when I’d eventually be fine, yet I am in the middle of the pain right now. I want to scream and ask what I’m supposed to do right now.
Right now, my chest organs feel like they are tied in a knot. It is right now that I can’t sleep or eat. I can’t seem to move on from where I am. I have anxiety attacks. I’m wondering if I’ll ever catch up with time. Right now, time seems to be too far away.
I am at this point where I would do just about anything to make the pain go away. I wish someone would tell me something that would blow the pain away like dust. But no one seems to tell me what to do with the pain right now, yet all I want is for the pain to leave, NOW!
Have you ever felt that way? I can’t be the only one that that has felt that way.
If there is anything I know about pain, I know that each pain is unique. It is a personal, unique experience for the one who suffers. Two different people with the same type of injury will feel and show their pain differently depending on several factors.
Steady, throbbing, stabbing, aching, pinching, biting, stinging, the pain people go through, has been described in these and many more ways by the ones who have experienced it. Some don’t even have the words to communicate it. That is why it is easy to think no one understands your pain.
I have lost count of the number of times I told myself that ‘I am in this alone and ‘no one feels how I feel.
The truth is, in many cases, they may not understand your pain. But it is also true that you are not alone. Your feeling is valid, yet people have been there and know exactly how you feel.
A physical deformity caused by an accident, the loss of a loved one, a heartbreak (read as breakfast in young people’s language), bankruptcy, whatever the cause of your pain is, people have been there and relatively speaking, they can understand. There are also people in your life who may not have experienced what you are going through but care deeply enough to go through your emotions.
A couple of months after I had mine, my little brother had whitlow, and I could clearly understand what he described as ‘his’ pain. I had been there. The pain is real, the sleepless nights from the vibrations of the affected finger, the heaviness. I knew it all.
I can also tell you about times my brother got beaten in my presence, and we cried together. Lol
In all these things, you are not alone.
The truth is, I may as well not tell you what to do right now, but these things I know. You are not your pain and struggle, and you are stronger than you realize. You can get through this pain.
Time does heal the pain. What you should do is embrace the process of healing. Be gentle with yourself and allow your body and soul to go through the process. You can recover and be stronger than before. People have come out of similar experiences stronger and better.
Forgive yourself and the reason for the hurt; stop beating yourself over past mistakes and hurtful memories. Don’t let your pain give you a lesser view of yourself. Distance yourself from the situation or Individual that caused you pain if possible. Listen to your own needs and do the things that make you happy.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you survived. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is over. But one thing is sure. You won’t be the same person who walked in when you come out of the storm. That’s what the storm’s all about”
Jesus said, ‘come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ Matthew 11:28.
We may not be able to have a life free of hurt, but we can choose to be free, be happy, look away from the past, look ahead, and embrace the possible.