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To live or die

To live or to Die

I lie awake every night

Wondering if I should go ahead and end it all

No one notices anyway

I tried having a conversation with Deb, she ignored me

I have nothing to hold on to

I haven’t been able to hold a job for more than 3 months

The last 4 I had got terminated prematurely

I must be cursed

That should explain all of these happenstances

Steve ended things 2 months ago, using the cliché ‘it’s not you, it’s me’

Remember that was the same thing Dave said?

At least they said something unlike John who just left without saying a word.

 

What’s the point of living?

I’m of no use to anyone

Half the people that bother talking to me don’t have anything nice to say to me

I have no job and no assurance I won’t lose the next one prematurely again

Relationships have turned out not to be my forte.

Ending things will be easier on everyone

I think I’d just go ahead with the plan.

Wait a minute

Abigail called me two days ago to thank me for sharing the gospel with her

She told me of how her life has changed for the better since then

She’s had an unexplainable joy and peace in her life.

Justina also called

She was happy I got her filled with the Holy Ghost as she’s been able to return the favour to several others with accompanying testimonies.

I ran into Luke as well

He has just gotten back from the doctors and they said the tumor was gone.

He was grateful I ministered healing to him, now he believes indeed that God heals and will do all within his power to spread that message to all.

I have to think of these people

I have to think of the several others that will be saved through me

The ones who would be filled with the Holy Ghost, receive healing, supernatural guidance through me.

If for any reason I don’t measure up to man’s standards, I’m sure I measure up to God’s.

That’s what matters

He’s the one who’d judge me anyways, why not live to please him, rather than try to please men who can’tbe pleased and still fail.

So, I’d live

I’d live to give life to others.

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