Grace

Mortified, a gormless grin plastered on my face as my mouth dropped ajar. Memory coursed through and results haven’t been any clearer. Total mess! How wise I’d been in my eyes making this choice. What about now?

Pain! Any better description? No, it’s simpler and most explicit on what, how I felt. I’ve known it for too long that everything, I mean everything is just for a while and eventually would not even pay. All the blinding glitters of fun, the beautiful deceptions… That didn’t stop me from selling myself over and over into it.

Bottles uncorked, I felt as terrible as a sinner. Of course, I was one but I hated to know, no, I did know. It’s more like I hated to be reminded of that truth.

You’d wonder why I had a gormless grin plastered on my face at first. I was supposed to be a Christian, I was. No, it’s the name I lived behind, a nice cover page. The truth? I was just a regular, very regular church attender, to help my cover. “How about the words you heard over again, where did they go to? ” before starting the illustration of passing through my right ear and going out through the left, I’ll be honest. It wasn’t like that, I also didn’t sit on my ears, not all the time though. Every word, I heard. But you know, when Jesus spake the parable of the sower, I am a practical example of the seeds which fell among thorns. Maybe there was a tendency to bring forth fruits but the moment I was out the door, back to the world, it was so gone with the wind. “Choked” and I’d be over it.

That night, I sat up in bed, tears unceasing. I was drawn to see the light. “God’s love” this was it. In songs,  exhortations, expressions, I’ve heard, seen, read but never really known it. Times, I had been so close but memories of my wrong stuck as stamp to a letter, holding me to ransom of unworthiness. Inundated by guilt. “It was God’s punishment to me” I cried. Did I deserve any better?

What I didn’t know, I tell you is that being a sinner is good news. “How? Why? ” I’m so glad you get to know that Jesus Christ came for ‘sinners’, what He did on the cross was to reconcile ‘sinners’ to the Father {God} Now, as much as I hated to know that I’m a sinner, it’s the best knowledge I’ve ever had cos along with it came an understanding that I needed a savior. And that is it, Sin  has a cure, Christ’s work on the cross is it.

This perfect love drew me out!

We’ve known this in our head. It’s high time we get committed to it in our hearts and get working with it. It’s no time to get crushed with the evidence of failure as a sinner. It’s just about time to confess and know God’s forgiveness.

Come on out of the boundless world into freedom. Mmm Hmm….. It’s all in Jesus. Freedom to confess and let go. “About the hurt? ” There is freedom to rise above hurt. Freedom to live in overflow of love, joy, peace, prosperity….. Put a name to it and come find it, all of it in Jesus.

You Are Never Alone